Out of In house S- Start of two homes (10)

[vise82]

Hey,

I am having a hard time with this. I thought I was ready for this move but I guess one does not know until one get there.

I am getting thoughts of losing W again, and it will be me backing off. She is it seems trying to keep a connection and I am blowing her off.

Its DBing and it feel like the opposite of what I should be doing.

I am going to have to just put my trust in the process.

No R talks will be started by me.

You say I should be creating strong boundaries. I am telling you my heart is saying no, my brain is telling me I will have to nicely push her in the direction that she has set. Away from me. Or am I looking at it wrong?

I will have a key in a key box at my house and W will not have the code unless its an emergency. After she uses it I can just change the code.

She just wants to give me a key to her place. For emergencies.

its just hitting me now, we have been inseparable for 15 years, The longest we have been apart has been 3 days and two nights for that wedding of her brothers.
And by the end of the month I feel like its the end of us. Just feel so sad. This is the second time now the MR is flashing through my brain. All we have been through together. Life is going to be so different.