Like others have said here, and yourself, it's like she's wanting to keep the distance as far as possible, but while still sending you hints here and there that she doesn't want you to detach completely. There are benefits to "being friends" during this, but the approach I've now taken in my place, was not to be "friends", but instead, to be "friendly". If your W doesn't think you're good enough to be an H, do you think she would still want to be 'just friends' with you? My guess is no, but I'm unaware of the entire story. For most of us, we marry the one that we want to be our Spouse, not just friends. I would decline the offer of her helping out, and say I have friends that will help me take care of it, and then don't really say much back to her at all in terms of helping her move things, etc.
I, also, would avoid the R talk at all costs. I've been trying to do that, but WAW keeps bringing up in phone conversation, "do you want to talk about anything, do you want to talk about us and our R?" I would respond with "no, not really, not right now", etc for about a week and that worked, but eventually she forced me into it with her initiating the talk (and saying she wants out). So when I validate and empathize with her, she only gets confused, and angry because she doesn't understand why I'm not arguing with her. However, these talks do NOT go well, even when SHE is the one initiating the talk. I would stay away from the R talk as much as possible, and even if she does say something like, "what do you think about us, plans, goals, etc"...
I would just say something along the lines, "for now, with your decision to separate, there isn't really an "us" and the only plans I have right now are to work on myself to be a better person and a better man." and see how she receives that. Stay away from "us" and "we", as she is not a part of those words right now. It's more like "you", and "me", as separate entities. I would also avoid words like "home" and other terms of safety and security within the marriage as a couple.
