What Should I be doing 3

[cbtdad]

Coconut,
She is doing some serious cake eating.
She is getting the attention from you without having to let go of her fantasy.
She has probably taken a step back, but the OM fantasy is still right there plain as day.
As long as she thinks you will be there she will most certainly test the waters with both you and OM
You have to set that boundary and mean it.
Meaning you need to tell her you will not be in a 3 person marriage.
That she either quits the academy or OM does. But no contact means no contact.
If she isn't willing to do that then you move out or she moves out.
But you must follow through or she will walk all over you
I've been there!!
I'm there in a way now. I haven't set boundary yet because I'm not ready to follow through right now.
We have a six year old and he graduates next week from K
After that if I don't see more improvement I'm moving out