We have had a bit of email contact. He tells me that his sister is coming home from overseas soon (July) and that we should go out for dinner when she is back. He is still wanting to be friends I think.
I have been looking for answers to his personality type online and have come to the conclusion he is either a narcissist or an emotional abuser. He never hit me.
I can be "friendly"but not his "friend". I haven't committed to anything. I would like to see my SIL though as she has some issues which make me want to be there for her.
Something I hadn't brought up before here is that his Father sexually molested his sister for years when she was a child. H is younger by 2 years and says he didn't know it was happening until he was an adult and married to his first wife. 1st wife stopped contact with the IL's as she didn't want he children exposed to it. His Mother knew about the abuse and did nothing to stop it. When I told my GP this, I asked her what kind of person allows that to happen to their child and do nothing? She replied - someone who is being controlled. His Father died before we met so I never knew him, his Mother died last year. My opinion of her went downhill when I found out about a year after we were married. I think H's behaviour is a sign that he had narcissistic parents and he learnt the controlling behaviour from them both. His first wife called him cold.
Right now, I'm feeling a bit sorry for him as if and when he takes up with anyone new - nothing will change as he does not think there is anything wrong with him.
Me:54 Him:58 3 Adult children between us. I am H 2nd wife. My 1st marriage. Married:8 Together: 12 Separated: 1 Aug 2015 Status: Separated In NZ we need to be separated 2 years before we can divorce.
