Oh my Paula. Your situation sounds just like mine. H left after almost 19 yrs together. We are fighting demons that I thought were put to rest 10 yrs ago and then definitely about 8no ago when H went thru rehab for alcohol. Now we are back to same demons. This is our 1St separation but we will be hitting 40 this year. Me in just over a week and my H in Sept.

As I was reading thru this thread I thought wow no one seems to have same situation but lots are similar until I read yours.

Thank you for sharing as I now know I'm not going crazy! H likes to push my buttons and I try so hard to not react/respond. But H then asked politely for things and it's hard to say no. Maybe I'm thinking it's harder because my H is an alcoholic and I now know that this is a disease that the addict has little control over.

wife of an addict
M 39 H 39
D18 D 16
Together 19 M17