Toast - burnt or just right

[SH_]

Sadness followed by resentment followed by sadness followed by resentment. I get caught not following my own advice and have sometimes fallen off the "work on myself and be happy" wagon over the last few weeks.

This is part of the cycle. Re evaluate daily and get back up on the horse. It will minimize your time off of the wagon.

The separation moving to divorce with the reality that I could be moving out within a month has been the cold water reality that has hit me in the face recently...I was doing really well but lately...i think things are hitting home now.

Also part of the normal cycle, but trust me, don't over think it. You will create future scenes that most likely will never happen.

Part of me can't wait to have some peace and be on my own again.

Embrace that part of you. You will find peace and you will move forward on your own again.

The other part of me which is filled with sadness is all the unknown of leaving the house we had dreamed about just 2 years ago, the place my daughter loves and the neighborhood and the CONSTANT worry of "will my D6' hate me for this and blame me for the D? (even though STBX filed and drove it)

Is she going to hate my new home and be resentful towards me ? Is she going to say I want to be at mommy's! I miss my neighbordhood...take me home!

Do any of you with kids worry about this as a result of the pending divorce?

If you focus on your d6 and being a stable attentive father, I can assure you that your d6 will not hate your home or be resentful towards you. My d5 loves my crappy apartment and loves to come see me. She enjoys seeing her mom as well. She prays every time she is with me that her mommy comes back to live with me. She knows who the stable parent is. Be that stable father. Focus on quality time with her as quantity will be divided, this is what your d6 will know. Be very attentive when you are with her.

I find myself getting into the resentment cycle when thinking about this and how I can't control what's next with my move and daughter. And just praying she is OK

Resentment is part of the cycle. Focus on what you can control. You. Prayers are good. Good for your state of mind, your heart and your soul. Be sure to listen for answers as well.

I was super resentful and angry with my STBX for most of the past 2-3 months. Times of crying wanting my old life back but recently have just been sad when thinking about her and me. And what could have been if we both took ownership of the issues and didn't quit.

It takes 2 to make a marriage work. Keep working on your part, and do so to the point that only a fool, would leave you. If the fool leaves, then you will be prepared to attract a person that deserves who you have become.

Sometimes I think maybe she will want to come back to me in time and then reality sinks in. Shake off those thoughts and work on a path to getting happy....as I need it.

Have a good evening all.

Stay on the path to getting happy...that will create the best opportunity for her to come back, but if she remains a fool......see my response above.

Hang in there, stay focused on the work needed for yourself, be the best father ever, and I can tell you, there are many successful folks on these boards that survived the D and are in a better place. Keep that picture in mind and the right things will work out.

I pray for you and your family this night. Be well my friend.