My kids made me laugh today as they told me that when they went out at the weekend with their dad, he told them that cheap is the way forward. I couldn't stop laughing! This has made me realise that H isn't in MLC as when we first started dated he was always on the look out for cheap stuff. Was impressed by him as he came and cut the grass without me asking him to do so (ok he didn't spend time with kids & was in a rush to go after he did it), so I thanked him.
It's funny how I react. Yesterday and today I was fine and getting on with my life, until I got a text from a friend talking about my situation and that has spoilt the rest of my day as I couldn't stop thinking about H!
I don't know how to behave when he is around. I keep reading and getting confused in what to do. There are some advice to go NC ( which I am at the moment but for my own sanity), whereas there are other about being friendly! I remember H telling me a year ago (BD time) that I was distant and cold towards him (so was he!), so I guess NC isn't good as it only reinforce his feelings about me, but on the other hand I don't want to be friend with him as separated/ divorced people are hardly friends. So I'm not too sure on which foot to stand! Now that financial side has been sorted, there is really no need for him and I to communicate (apart for the children). I keep remembering what my SIL told me a couple of month ago: " you can't make so rom who don't love you, love you" and she added "even if you were to get back together, he'll never make you happy". So I guess H has told her that he doesn't love me anymore and it was her gentle way to tell me to move on and start a new chapter without him! Is it time for me to draw the line? I know I still have feelings for him but is it real love or just the thought of loving who he was before he started to go off the rail?
Hi Rouky! Thank you so much for your posts on my thread, I appreciate them so much!
Interesting about H coming to cut the grass. Is that the first time he's done that in a long while? I wish I had some incredible advice to give you about how to behave when H is around, I feel I owe you the same amazing advice you always offer me, but when I read this post it was like I had written it myself!! I feel exactly the same re: divorced/separated people hardly being friends, yet also feel that NC shoves my H further away.
It is so tough to decide when to draw the line too. I wonder if my feelings are just memories of feelings from the past too. I do think Job is probably right though, and that when the time comes for us to move on, we will not be questioning if we should, we just will. I hope so anyway, because I for one am tired of this merry-go-round of feelings towards my H and I haven't been on it half as long as you have. You are such a strong lady to have been able to keep at this so long.
