We talked yesterday. What started as a 3 minute conversation went for over an hour. She is still very mad at the email I sent to family and friends. Kept saying she felt threatened by me because of how I acted the night I found out. Which is why she won't tell me where she is actually staying (with him at a relatives house).
We are going to counseling. I am not exactly sure what her motive is (maybe to keep me from blowing the lid on this at her office). She said we can't continue in this limbo so we have either go here or to d. I guess that's something. There were points yesterday where we were having a genuine discussion including on things that were weaknesses in our marriage. She cried a little bit. She also said "not everyone is perfect" when describing her actions recently---a bit of a an understatement if there ever was one. Also found out she is moving to her own place on a two month lease which corresponds with the end of her job.
I got a little more into talking about her and my thoughts on her than I wanted, but somehow I think a little bit of it may have gotten through. And hopefully the individual part of the counseling can get through to her, or make her think about her actions.
She still thinks that the only reason this would ever become more public is if someone (me) told everyone. I kept trying to tell her, the OW is telling people the truth, and I am not going to actively go out and tell people anymore, but I'm not lying to them either. That seems to be a huge concern for her because could impact her work going forward. So....in sum, who knows how it all went.
