WAW moved out, spewing anger, trying to detach

[rich4j]

So the mind starts in the swirl of what the he// am I gonna do. My L keeps trying to work and charging me, while she is dragging her feet and stalling. My finances are tied up, I can't move, get d a car, nor do anything. I feel trapped and anger starts to boil. She wants to leave me and our family and she won't leave. Grrrrrr.


Then a few minutes later, I feel the waves of anxiety roll over me. I sit down and try to breath deeply to calm myself. D17 asks me if I am okay. I tell her to give me a few minutes and then went to the bathroom. I splashed my face with some cold water and came to the kitchen to get dinner started. Then the tears just start flowing. The mind starts racing and it goes on for 10 minutes. Me just sitting there crying like a baby.

I have never experienced anything like this before. The range of emotions were many and the mind funnel was all over the place.


I feel numb right now. Not sure if this is good or not. I just hope I sleep tonight. I want to escape this trap. How did I get stuck in this trap? I want to move forward to a future of hope and love.

I am sorry things are so hard and go in waves. I feel your pain so don't think it's you and you are alone

It is OVERWHELMING! YOu had a wingwoman before and you were able to divide and conquer. It's alot even with 2 parents let alone 1. And now you have all of these life changing events swirling around you with living arrangements, cars, bills, finances and that isn't even the people piece of the nightmare.

WAW, your children and you.....the human part is even harder to deal with day to day. And to do this all on your own. Loneliness...

I was going thru this exact loss of control back a few months when I was trying to do all this and plan a trip for spring break by myself. And going thru the legal piece which just started and being pushed weekly to get out of the house And trying to find a new car and and and and....loneliness, sadness, anger resentment....all of it
One of my best friend said take one piece at a time. Do you really need a new car now or can it wait a few months ? Crossed taht one out. What was most important? Getting my trip planned with D6 ....focus on that. Lonely? Yeah....you can't control that right now but try to be around friends family and your kids.

What could I not control? Alot. Such as worrying about how sad my D6 would be when we told her eventually. Lost sleep every night about how this was messing her future up.

So I tried to give up what I could not really impact in the upcoming week. And took it week to week...sometimes day to day. And focus on the small fun things if it involved my daughter or pets and ignore the rest as much as possible

It works for me but I also struggle and get back into sadness and felt myself crying the other night as I missed her under all the anger & resentment. So it won't go away too quickly...it's just reality

It will cycle and if you try to knock out small things and focus on small things rather than look at all this crazy life changing stuff that is so big it could help you.