What follow was a week from hell, live separate life's in he same house
Is she calling you separated in the marriage? If so, how exactly are you separated? I mean, she still shares the MBR, right? Why isn't she sleeping elsewhere? Have the bank accounts and credit cards been separated? Is she paying equally on household expenses, car, insurance, etc.? Any property separated? How about family activities? Have either of you separated yourselves from joining together in those things? Has anything changed?
She is caught up in a fantasy, probably of her own making. She will remain in this fantasy as long as she doesn't have to deal with reality. As long as she gets part of her needs by you and the rest of her needs by OM.......she won't end the A. Her selfishness will supersede everything else.
Do you know if this OM has reciprocated her admiration? Is he married, have children at home? How long has she worked with him?
Her actions/behavior with this OM started b/c she lost respect for you as a man/husband. Before she can have loving feelings for you again, she will have to respect you. That is how women are wired. We don't like it, but that's how it is.
I don't know what happened in the past, however, I dare say over the years she has held onto resentments. And, btw, a man doesn't have to be involved in anything particularly, in order for the W to feel resentment. In time, she feels more and more disrespect for him. It often shows in her attitude, and in how she talks to him, etc. Does any of this sound familiar?
After your own inappropriate contact with the opposite sex, and you tried to become the perfect H (and onlookers thought you were), I am curious as to what did you do to obtain that position? Without knowing if you had an A or any of the details, I am going to take a wild guess and you can tell me if I am anywhere in the ball park. I bet you felt really bad about whatever happened. To make it up to your W, you became what you thought was a perfect H. You treated her like a princess, being very attentive to all her needs and catering to all her wishes. You would bend over backward to make her happy (by doing whatever she wanted), staying home and mainly engaging in only kids/family activities.
Did you and your W receive professional help when you worked through your issues seven years ago.....or did you seek individual counseling?
Quote:
WW has just ask me if its ok to introduce the children to OM if she decides to move in with him! It's like jumping in to a bath of ice.
You look straight into her eyes and say, "Are you asking my permission to introduce my children to the guy who is doing my wife? Incredible"!! Shake your head and walk away.
You will discover that a WW will ask or say some incredibly stupid things. If it catches you off guard, just stare at her as if she has lost her mind, shake your head and turn away.
Have you been following the 37 rules? Read the homework assignment?
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
