Just an update...

[wishing, hoping]

Another update:

Hey folks. Just letting you know that NG and I are now engaged. I couldn't be happier. Of course, once in a while I worry and I think about things that happened in my previous marriage, but NG is completely different from X. NG thinks X and OW are crazy, insane narcissists and of course he is correct.

Since my engagement, X is different. I don't know if it's relief on his part, or what, but at times he is civil, sometimes downright pleasant. Don't worry...I never let down my guard. Not even for a second. He just had shoulder surgery (something he let go for many years that he finally couldn't ignore) and he was trying to get my sympathy. I told S that I had no sympathy for his father because if X had looked into the problem several years ago like I suggested he wouldn't be where he is now.

A few weeks ago, S had a soccer tournament on X's weekend. X asked me to take D to her game because apparently OW had a previous commitment (or is too feeble to drive that far) and meet him at S's tournament. Afterward he wanted to get the kids something to eat and asked me to join them. Normally I wouldn't but D was riding with me and it was transition time (from him to me) and we had an hour drive back to our town and the kids were starving. Rather than say no, I agreed to stop so D could eat. He asked me to sit with him and the kids and I did. It was beyond awkward since it was the first time we had ever really sat together as a "family" since BD. The kids were fine, but I couldn't wait to leave. I told S later it was very awkward for me. But then again it was a great reminder that I have left that life far, far behind me and I never ever want to go back to it. I have come too far.

Since then, S told me this summer his dad intends to try and change placement to where he will get the kids on Sunday nights instead of them coming back to me. It has been almost two years since the D was final, so it is to be expected. S and D don't want things to change, and neither do I. I know from going through courts before they won't change anything unless change is beneficial for the kids. I dread going through something like that again. I can just imagine the courts will dread seeing our names come through on the dockets. X will have to bear the burden of proving the switch back to me is not good for the kids. I don't think he can prove it enough for the courts to rule on it. They would most likely send us to mediation and the evil circle can start over again. But then again, maybe X said that to S to shake me up. Either option is a definite possibility.

I wish I didn't have to deal with this guy but lately he has just been really trying to prove himself as a great guy and doting father. But it may look that way on the surface, but down deep we all know the real story. So basically a lot has changed, but yet nothing has really changed.

WH