The lack of arguments/conflict is something to explore further I think. Mine was a low conflict M to a 'nice guy.' I always thought he was easy going, but actually he struggled to voice his needs and resentment built. I'm also pretty conflict avoidant, so all in all not a great mix.
Since being on this site I've read that not being in conflict actually isn't good (as I thought it was..)
Hope this provides some food for thought anyway
Thanks Sotto. I'll give that some more serious thought. I think that a lot of how we avoided conflict is that (until that last couple of years) we've been comfortable in our own separate identities and had well defined roles and expectations. All the men in my family tend to be quite easy-going except around matters of honour and respect and just appreciate whatever good happens in their lives and don't tend to worry about the bad. We are pretty low maintenance and don't have a lot of needs we can't take care of ourselves through our various hobbies or by just going off to do what we feel needs to be done ourselves.
In the last couple of years conflict was avoided by me becoming codependent trying to "help" a W who I felt was depressed and I would bend to whatever whim she might have in an effort to make her happy. That is part of my GAL plan to stop and I think I've made good progress on that. Through this journey I've struggled with the respect issue. Despite what some people may think about my WW and her affair she "has" treated me with respect and courtesy through this as I have her.
Sorry for the thread hi-jack away from the books but I appreciated Sotto's question.
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
