coffee_ - I hate to say it but you're going to need to take a stand here. If you continue along the path I was reading you'll need to accept that you have an open marriage if you want it to continue.
I don't know much about your household but if you have another room you may want to consider moving into it. I know most of the advice here is for the LBH to stay in the MBR but is sounds like your W is wearing the pants and wouldn't be shoved out. If you can't stand your ground where you are, you may need to stand on it somewhere else.
Cutting off the physical contact is also part of it. Every time she touches you I'm sure that it re-ignites a spark of something that keeps you connected to her. She needs to start feeling a loss of something that she doesn't respect.
In my own sitch it's been easier - my W moved out of the MBR on her own after BD and has avoided physical contact making it much easier for me to detach and be objective. You've got a much tougher road to travel.
Good luck man - you're going to need it.
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
