New to Site - Just found about another

[coffee_]

Not sure why my posts are getting no love on here. I am flopping like a fish out of water.
I am sure that my wife is still having an active affair, she is just driving it deeper underground. She wont admit to who Rob is... This is her A partner. She doesn't want to end the marraige but wants to continue doing what she is doing. I wonder if it is an exit affair, but just buying time? I wonder if she is trying to figure out if the M is worth giving up the OM? We talked yesterday and she says that she just cant see what "we" look like down the road a year, I said me neither. This morning she made me breakfast and gave me lunch then a big smooch on my way out the door. I have been avoiding physical contact but couldn't this morning. She is just temperature checking I am sure. Our 21st wedding anniversary is next week. I told her that I expect her to tell me the truth, and back it up with action. She showed some remorse yesterday, but not much. She said I just didn't see our lives going like this, I said what did you expect. I am lost as to what to do next. I need to figure out how to be "darker" I guess, because it does seem to be working somewhat. She still wants us both, she doesn't want to give up her family. After our anniversary I am thinking I will pretty much tell her that I want a divorce if I don't see any change or course of action on her part. We need to find some help to fix this because we can't do it on our own.