Out of In house S- Start of two homes (10)

[vise82]

Hey.

I feel like I am at a point of no return. Like I don't want to continue with this MR the way it is. I see us moving out and we have not resolved anything. There is no R talk and I don't know where I stand right now.

I feel like am lower on her priority list then a friend. I feel like I want to just move on. I don't feel like fighting for this MR any more.

I feel the pull to my family. The other night my S7 asked if he was a (wife maiden name). I told him that he is related to them but no he is a (my family name). I feel like he is missing out on seeing my side of the family, and he should see where he comes from. W side of the family have always said stuff like that, he eats some thing oh your a (wife maiden name).

Ok that aside. I am feeling a little lost right now. W and I are physically separating and I have no idea where her head is.

I know that I have this nagging feeling to just move ahead with the D myself. But I can also just act like I am moving forward.

I need to do what I think is best and I am struggling. I need to let go and I am just about to and it scares me. I think that W also is just holding on a little also.

I don't want a MR like this where I am not invited to anything she does with her family but we do stuff as a family. Actually I don't even know if we are going to do stuff as a family anymore.

In my mind we are not. I wont initiate it. But I don't want to be dragged into this type of permanent limbo still married but living in separate house.

I am rambling a little but just trying to get this off my chest.