WAW moved out, spewing anger, trying to detach

[SH_]

Journaling....

I will start on Friday morning. I printed the finance paperwork, because she made a comment that I was to print it and bring it to her to sign. I knew the night before she flipped out about the research for the value of the newer car she is taking, but I thought I would press her by handing the paperwork. It was a risk, but movement was needed.

I arrived and dropped d5 off as usual. I then hand the paperwork to her. Of course, she reacts by saying " Didn't I make myself clear last night? I am not comfortable signing that. I know I can't get as much for the car as you say." I ask if she researched it further with the information I provided the night before. She said of course you researched it. Well I am contacting my L because I don't think that is right. I replied that would be a good idea. Her L can clarify what she needs to know.

WAW then realizes that d17 was not with me. She asked angrily where she was. I replied that she was going to the women's entrepreneur conference. I asked if d17 had told her ( I knew that she had). WAW replied oh yeah. Then she snapped did you take her already. I replied that she had arranged transportation and was fine. Then I got the 20 questions, but I cut it off as I had to get to work. It was like an event that she was aware of, but not to her likening was still somehow an issue I created.

As I left I over heard WAW ask d5 if I was going to her program today. D5 replied that I had to work so would not make it. WAW then asked if I had given her lunch money. D5 responded that I had. I was at my car and just smiled. It is as if everything is somehow related to me with her.

Briefly on the lunch money. The day before I dropped both d's off in the morning and WAW asked if I had made a lunch for d5. I responded no, because she had been eating lunch at school. WAW responded that she did not have any more money on account. I apologized as I was un aware of this. WAW responded how could you not know? I replied did you tell me? She just muttered and went into the other room. I hugged my girls and left. D17 shared later that WAW came out and asked if I left 5 dollars. D17 replied I had not. She then ranted and raved the remainder of the morning about that.

So back to Friday. I went to d5 program at her school. I arrived and went to her classroom. The room was full of parents so I stood just inside the door. D5 lit up when she saw me. I was one proud papa. I was there for 10 minutes as her teacher shared info with us and provided praise for the kids. At this point folks had squeezed past me several times to be in the classroom. Then someone came right behind me and I hear, " Oh so you actually made it huh? I turn and guess who. Yup, WAW as she brushed past me and squeezed into the last available chair in the classroom.

I just smile. She can be bitter and angry, and it shows in her face. Not mine.
D5 teacher approached me several times to tell me how glad she was that I had been able to come. I am sure she is aware of our sitch. I am sure almost any teacher at the school that WAW can talk to is aware. But d5 teacher is so nice and I know she was genuine.

After d5 finished her program I got the biggest hug ever. As I was leaving I noticed WAW speaking with another teacher. Now this was interesting as I know the teacher as she is the mother of a little boy that d5 is good friends with since pre school. I also know she and her husband divorced last summer and it was a bitter divorce. The poor little boy really had issues due to the messy divorce. So I see WAW talking to her, and then they are both glancing at me out of the corner of their eyes. I was close enough to read her lips and I see this lady telling WAW, don't give into him. Stay firm on what you want. I just smile and leave at this point.

D5 told me her uncle was picking her up from school because her mom was going out with the lady that did daycare for d5 until she started preschool. This lady divorced her husband of over 20 years after attending a high school reunion and running into her high school crush. Weird how the birds of a feather flock together huh?

So my L calls me as I had replied to his call asking the status of the finance agreement. I had asked if we should drop the car value so she would sign. He told me no way as it was fair.
He gave me 4 options to propose to her.
Ask her to sell me the car for the value she claims.
Swap cars with me and I not pay her the difference.
Swap cars and pay her the value she is claiming.
Sign the paperwork already.
Drop the cars from this agreement and add them to the d decree with the retirement divisions.

Well, fortunately as of this morning,she has decided to sign without any of these options being proposed. Again, I wonder what finally made her agree. But at this point, it does not matter so long as she signs already, right?!

So, the ugly now. Last night as d17 and I arrived home, d17 calls her mother as requested by a text from her. I am I the other room when d17 comes I and looks a bit upset. She asks if I had told her mother about the baccalaureate program . I replied that I had not. D17 responded that her mother asked her what program she had on Sunday. D17 told her mom it was just a homework assignment. I asked her why she told her mother this. She replied she did not want her mother at the program, but felt bad for not telling her the truth. She asked me how her mom knew of the program. I replied that I had mentioned it to d5 when talking to her about out plans for Sunday. D17 said oh.

She later came back and asked my thoughts on if she did the right thing by not telling the truth to her mom. I asked her why she did not tell her. She replied she did not want her to attend, but did not want to hurt her feelings or have to explain why. I asked her why. She said because she can not behave when I am around and her friends know the situation as she has shared with them, and they would be uncomfortable.

At this point I asked my daughter if she was comfortable with her decision. She said she was, but feels that she is always trapped in a no win situation with her mom. I provided advice that she should make decisions that are best for her, and avoid the decision making with my or her mothers filters on. She has earned the right to do this. I cautioned her to be sure that she is prepared for whatever reaction her mother may have, but if it is a bad one regardless of the decision she makes, then just select the one she is most comfortable with. She said she did the right thing then, because she was feeling so good after the conference, that tonight was not the night to let her mom bring that down.

Anyway this just breaks my heart, because the WAW has created such a circus that her relationship with her d is deteriorating faster that I even realized.

So that was the bad and ugly from the past couple of days. But this has been a wonderful weekend, so it is what it is and I plan to sleep peacefully this night.

Have a great week everyone.