Focus on me and my boys

[J5K]

Thank you again Painter,

I have been documenting Ws reactions to my requests similarly to the way you have suggested. She has not listened to me in a very long time so I really have no expectations from her.

Unless it was vacations she never organized anything else, unless it was her idea. In her mind her sole purpose was to raise the boys and make them perfect little soldiers as quickly as she could. We have a cleaning lady that comes once a week. So W cooked, mostly meals that took 30 minutes or less (which is fine, I never complained, I was just happy to eat), cleaned as required to keep the home spotless (part of her OCD), laundry for the family (I took my clothes to the drycleaners), helped the boys with homework. Major grocery shopping was done as a family or split 50/50 between us. Not discounting anything she did. She still had time to do her own thing, went to gym in the middle of the day. I never said to her she could not go get her nails done or not get a hair cut. When things went south, she spewed back at me saying she did not do those things for herself to save money for the family.

IDK, lately as we go through this D, her focus on the boys has been less than stellar as she is so focused on getting past all this and moving on without me. The only reason she feels so strongly about this is because her mother is supporting her and going to help her maintain an upper middle class lifestyle. Really? The woman is 36 years old? When do you cut the umbilical cord?

It was both our responsibility to find a studio apartment. We could not find a month to month lease or if we did, it was not up to her standard of living and in a lower income area. I had found a one bedroom to rent for 6 months in a nice area and sent her emails but she responded with blahblahblah and did her own thing. Her L basically supported her also and said too bad, this is how it is going to be.

On a positive note, went and saw the condos today with the boys. Poor guys, they were like, this place is so small! I tried to stay cheerful but was at a loss for words. I focused on the positives about the daycare and school being so close and how we were just a 5 minute drive from my sister's house. S7 perked up after that and was ok with it. He stated he wanted to stay in the same home and same school. I validated and had a very difficult time explaining to him why we had to move. I feel bad that they are in limbo with me. They keep wanting to go visit friends and family so I am doing my best to keep them occupied on the weekends. Since we were near my sister's we stopped by for an hour and the boys had fun.

OK, most of what I wrote above is probably just babbling. Actually feel tired now so goodnight to all and hope you have a wonderful start to the work week.