I have read your posts and I feel for you. You seem so hurt and angry and remorseful. It is so hard right now, when you have all these feelings and your unsure which are the " right " ones. But beneath it all stands out a man that is quite reflective and insightful.
I wish I had advice to give you. Its just a really painful process that takes time to sort out. I know how hard it is to want answers and explanations. Unfortunatly there really aren't any because relationships are challenging. Just as Learning how to accept something we don't want is.
