14 days of sheer hell, part 6

[DDJ]

I'm just gonna say it - i'm confused as to what to do. That's why my actions must be so confusing too.

I need to not be a doormat.
I need to stand up for what i believe in.
I need to focus on myself and get out of her head.
I need to GAL and show empathy through validation.
I need to be a lighthouse.
I need to lose control.

I do the above through boundaries and improving myself. I still clearly do not understand boundaries.

Saying i wont share a bed with someone that does not want to be in it with me, is controlling. If anyone could give me a good boundary for a WW that comes home at 10am in the morn, I would appreciate it. Is lack of affection and attention that boundary?

I am just confused. I believe i'm good at following a process, but there are no clear guidelines here. How do i grow balls, entrench my values and still not let it come across as reacting - Must i just ignore her? If i tell her I want to spend her bday by myself, it comes across as reacting. BUt it was not, I planned it yesterday... Do i validate now.

I'm rambling because I am at a loss...