I have the same struggles, Ahmeds. I will say the extreme crashes have lessened in frequency and severity but they still happen. I still find my mind wandering to OW sometimes and forcefully stop myself. I will start to recite verses from holy scripture, replay a song in my head or start complex math...anything to stop wasting head space on a person who isn't a fraction of my worth.

I think OW are truly broken people, they are willing to take scraps instead of a whole meal, like a stray dog starving for leftovers. Meanwhile you and I are queens, we settle for nothing but the best. We hold our heads proud and our spines erect, we are faithful and kind. I think you will understand this next line, we are Kadijah and the OW is less than a right hand possession.

So chin-up sister, and work on making yourself someone that only a fool would give up.

M 10yrs T 13yrs
BD #1Oct 2015-PA between WAH and COW
BD #2 April 2016-WH resumed PA, she broke it off
Jan 2 2017 WH says he wants divorce
April '17-Letting go
2018 D busted
DD8, DS6, DS3