Out of In house S- Start of two homes (10)

[vise82]

Hey,

In the middle of the the weekend.

Friday had a rough time. Some commotion was going on and neighbors were out including the Gay guy. There was something going up in our court that would get another neighbor mad. W comes in and tells me at the same time as messaging the gay guy.

She runs out and goes to his house, the two new neighbor next door run out and they all meet.

I go inside. I cant take it. W is so insensitive, could not care how I feel. I will not go outside when Gay guy is out. I cant. I get angry and uncomfortable. I start to realize that these are my W friends now. I dont fit in at all with them. They know all about what is going on and I cant deal with it.

I have S4 inside with me getting him changed so that we can go out for dinner.

This is what i dont get. She treats them nicer then me but yet I am the one going out to dinner with her and the kids. I am the one that needs to sign so she can get a bridge loan. I am the one she just signed a S agreement with and we will have to deal with each other because of the kids and she could care less what makes me upset.

So i start to spiral.

I see how far gone she is.

I start to lose hope. She talks to these people more that she does to me and we were living in the same house.

I was feeling done with the MR. I cant see it working out. I start dreaming of giving her the D.

SHe was mad at me for taking so long getting ready but I was not going outside while gay guy was outside.

We go to the dinner and W is in a terrible mood.

I am just tired of it. I want some one that wants me around. She seems to tolerate me but runs across the street the first chance she gets. This is not a life to live like this.

We get the food to go and had a good meal at home.

The next day she said she had a thing to do with her BFF in the morning. I dont know if she is lying or what but she said they were working on a cake, and she brought her cake tools.

I had the boys all day, took them to a skate park and we had a good time.

W get home and wants a movie night with the kids. W did and W falls asleep on the couch.

I miss having someone on my team, that I can plan a future with and get some support. I couldn't even talk to W about how I was feeling because I know she doesn't even care.

Its been a year and it just feels like it was such a waste of a year, If w worked on things during that year who knows what.I have worked on me and I am in a better place but W is just not there beside me at all.

Next day, W sleeps in, I was up with the kids.

W asks me if I can take the kids for a whole weekend during the move because she is having a Birthday BBQ for her birthday and wants the kids for that weekend.

So two things i get from that. One I am not invited, and two the parenting agreement just started and she is asking to change it already. For a bbq.

Of course that hits me I am not invited. I try not to show W that I am hurt. I tell her I would have to check my schedule.

Why cant she just look at the days that she has the kids an schedule her life around that.

I wanted to ask if this is what i am to expect, not getting invited. I did not ask.

For DBing this is what I want but when its initiated by W it hurts me to not be included.

ok enough of the pity party, back to packing for my new house