I know my posts are often self defeating, and I don't post much about the steps I am taking, so I am going to take some time to do that as well.
After reading DR, the 180 & GAL techniques were two that I knew I had to apply. I always revolved everything around him, so as hard as it was, I knew I needed to do stuff for MYSELF. I've stepped out of the box and gone to social events, despite my fear of going alone, and I forced myself to socialize with people. Also, I've always had an interest in biking, but when my H and I lived together I could not buy one because we simply did not have the space to put it anywhere. So, I went out and bought myself a bike so that I could go riding on the trials that I live near. I've done my best to do these things because I did look at them as the LRT, basically I have to do this to show change, and in the end, even if he doesn't come back, at least I've improved myself. I spoke with my coach yesterday, and she helped me write up the last resort letter, which I sent to my H today. He wants the signed divorce papers by tomorrow, so the coach suggested I send the letter today. I am not expecting much out of it, but writing it out did give me a sense of closure. Knowing that I did not leave any stone unturned. Despite all of that, the feelings of a broken heart, depression, loneliness, etc.., tend to take over at times. I can't help but wonder about the other woman, and how betrayed I feel by what my husband did. I know those are just setbacks, and I will continue to move forward despite the difficulty of the situation.
