Hi Blueboy. Welcome to the community. I think the most encouraging piece I can give you is to tell you that I was a wayward wife.........and my M was saved. This DB board has helped so many people in saving their marriages......and even more importantly, saving themselves. So I encourage you to read everything on Cadet's list, post every chance you have, and stick with us. This is not going to be fixed overnight.
Most newcomers are in panic palace when they get here and their mind racing and feelings bouncing all over the place. They feel the urgency to do SOMETHING to stop the spouse from leaving or filing for divorce. Your challenge right now is to try and calm yourself. The more afraid you are, the more chance you will react the wrong way.
In most cases here on the board, things get worse before getting better. So, when you think it's getting worse, it doesn't necessarily mean you are doing something wrong. Okay?
You need a guide to know how to interact with her, what to do, etc. Sandi's rules may be able to get you started.
Let me ask some questions. What are the ages of you and wife, and the kids? Has anything similar ever happened in the past? Either of you ever have inappropriate contact with another person? How has your sex life been the past few years?
The more you can tell us about the marital history, the more it helps us to see the overall picture.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
