Strong woman not so strong

[job]

Bee,
I can relate to how they can turn things around on you and then you are blamed. It's called justification for why they feel the way that they do.

They are very good at compartmentalizing their lives. When they are at work, many of them function very well because their focus is on work. Some, unfortunately, can't concentrate at work and the anger comes out to play, they miss time from work or they suddenly up and quit. Once they are off work, that section of their mind shuts down and then they focus on what is happening then, and this continues. We are another piece of the pie and they really try to block us out, but many of them have difficulty being alone or sleeping at night because thoughts of what they've done come out to play.

You are the first person that he will detach from because he sees you as the reason for all his woes. He'll continue to detach from the kids (to a point), pets, other family members, friends and co-workers. They generally will make new and younger friends along the way. The new best buds are generally not people they would have associated with pre-crisis. The way they enter the crisis, i.e., detaching from people, will be the exact opposite when they begin to wake up. You will be the last person that they will reconnect with.

Being patient does not mean you accept his outlandish behavior, especially if he's screaming or being a bully. You will need to call him on some of that behavior if it gets out of hand. You will need to set boundaries that acceptable for you and your children. Bottom line, you can't rely on him for anything and that's why it is important to detach as much as you can, live your life and above all else...keep the focus on you. This is a very long journey and no one can predict what will happen. However, the only person who can control you is you and what you want to do w/your life.

Come here to vent, cry, or just to chat. There is always someone around.