Kyh, So sorry to hear all that! Your story is very similar to mine. We also just achieved what we wanted and planned for years (reconstruction of the house so kids can have their own floor and everyone has more privacy, buying slightly bigger apartment in our home country where we return on regular basis, so kids have their own room & don't protest when we want to spend weekend there). We could go for dinner just the two of us w/o paying sitters to be with the kids, we built a fireplace which we always wanted etc. Well, we did not enjoy it together for long... Though my husband moved out (on my request) when I was at home (still reproaches to me that I "kicked him out" and he did not have enough time to look for an appropriate accommodation, which is not true BTW) I am afraid he will move his remaining stuff (which is still a lot) while I will be away for 4 days at the end of this month and he will come to stay with the kids in our house. I'm sure it'll hurt me when I come back and will see those empty shelves but there is not much I can do. And it's maybe better when we don't see them moving out, isn't it? Like you, I also had pillows between us. It's strange that they do it. He could sleep in the guest room if he wanted. I just don't understand that. My husband was also avoiding my family (guilt?) but then was extremely happy when they sent him a card and a present for his 50th b-day.
I can see that just like me you are trying to have 0 expectation but then are happy for any smaller or bigger gesture/action that shows some emotion from them. I noticed that even my son pays attention to those. My son told me the other day, did you notice that dad called you "darling" again. I did notice, also noticed how surprised and uncomfortable it made him. But, for a second there, it made me happy... I just need to learn not to read much into it. And, if you saw my thread, I'm now going to apply as strictly as possible no contact. So I won't have many opportunities to get those small things from him. But I found that I'm much more balanced when I don't see him. We'll see how long it will last. Wish you all the best and a lot of strength to get through it. Will follow your story & will hope with you for the best.
