Lots of journaling an posting for you yesterday. Some good reflection of the past events. I too had that type of day, until my d17 asked me when I was setting the date to no longer do it.
I had told her I was setting a deadline to stop looking back and figuring out what went wrong and what I did not see my WAW doing. Also I said I wanted to set the date because I want to be able to only say kind things about my W. Separating the WAW of today from the W I was with for over 19 years is very important to me. So today I plan to set this date.
I know my looking backwards is my analytical mind trying to see where I derailed the train, and or so that I can place blame on her. Neither of these thoughts are really helpful, as it will not change the past, but more importantly, it will not change my current sitch, nor the future for me. I am where I am and acceptance is important. My future is still to be created, and today is the beginning of that. I am still healing, so the process of looking back is beneficial, but I can not stay trapped doing it if I am to forgive myself, and her. The saying forgive and forget comes to mind.
Anyway, I may be rambling as I had a good, but short sleep and it is still early.
I hope you have a peaceful day with activities that keep your mind on the present and hope for the future.
You are doing so well, and it brings a smile to my face knowing how far we have come and how sharing our journey together has been a blessing.
Do something fun today. You deserve the distraction and it will heal some of the emotional wounds of yesterday.
Pencils, YouTube, family, friends, and the great outdoors. These will get you started today.
Me 46 Former W 46 D19 D7 BD Feb 2016 WAW moves out 4/16/16 D final 6/1/2017
It's time for me to start changin' the way I look at the world......and at myself. ~James Howlett aka Wolverine
