I'm sorry it's been a bad day, Phoebe. I do see that you are overall more resilient, though - you have come a long way in a very short time. It's a testament to your innate strength.
One reason why I thought H would never cheat, was that we had both been cheated on before. His W#3 cheated on him with the neighbor and actually married him and had a child with him. H said it was devastating and I couldn't imagine him inflicting that pain on anyone.
He said after I discovered the A that he didn't understand why I wanted to know details. He didn't want to know anything about his W and the OM - but he's also an avoider while I'm an analyzer. I can handle almosts anything except uncertainty. He thrives on living in a flux.
I also hated my 4 indoor-outdoor cats taking birds - for some reason, it seems they got goldfinches. Have you thought about putting collars with a bell on them? It gives the birds warning.
M 16 yrs, WH62, P54 3 adult blended kids EA 11/13, BD1 6/14 PA fall 14, BD2 2/15 Piecing 2015, BD3 12/15 Separated 4/16 WH moved OW in 5/16 Divorced 6/15/17
I do see that you are overall more resilient, though - you have come a long way in a very short time. It's a testament to your innate strength. 
