Twinmom she is coming to me to talk about what she feels needs to be done. Selling the house, splitting assets etc. At this point I'm listening and adding my opinions. I'm trying to not have to have lawyers involved if possible. This is why I am listening and adding comments. I feel if I shut her out when she tries to talk, won't that just send her to the lawyer and cost me 10k at then end?
Then listen and validate where appropriate. Learn to use a lot of uh huh, I see, I understand where you are coming from, & that's certainly something to think about...........
So basically if she comes to you and says, "we need to sell the house so we can each have our own place" you might respond with "that's certainly something to think about" or "let me know if there is something specific you need me to sign or do"
Don't do the "heavy lifting" of the divorce out of fear it will cost you $$. If she wants a lawyer nothing (including trying to reason with her) will stop her. If you want mediation then start that process yourself.
It DOES come across as controlling when you try to convince her to see through the fog. You may have her best interests at heart but it only comes across to her as controlling.
Me: 35 husband:39 Sons 16 and 11 from my first marriage Twins 5 (boy/girl) Daughter 3 Affair bomb 2/27/14 He moved in with ow 3/13/14 OW kicked him out 6/15/14 4/2016 he seeks help for sexual addiction
