Sandi, I guess the questions I have might be best answered by you or ones out the other side. When my W first expressed attraction to this OM a year ago and almost began her affair, I didn't do a lot of things right in terms of DBing. I didn't find this site and we didn't get professional help until to late it seems. I had my own complete burnout going on and stupidly listened to W. I see now how she didn't do the work she needed to do either to get him out of her head and ended up deeper into this. Certainly blaming me, I had my faults too, I'm not making excuses or saying I'm not part of this. This time I'm doing the things you advice and working on my faults.
My question is did I blow my chance last year or did I just make it a lot harder?
