How to rekindle love?

[Rose888]

H and I had a date last night, and H brought up the R. He mentioned that I have been more into him since BD than I have ever been. He feels like the risk of losing him is what made me want him. He worries that when I feel completely secure again, I will lose my desire, and we will go back to a sex-starved marriage.

But he doesn't want to keep us in the current state of insecurity.

So he's brainstorming ways to create and maintain just enough uncertainty to maintain my interest.

When we phrase it like this, it sounds like the distancer/pursuer dynamic. Any good ideas on how to correct this?

H has definitely been the pursuer sexually, but I think he is also often the pursuer emotionally as well--although I can pursue emotionally at times.