Maybe I am missing something, but I am wondering what your hurry is in taking action? (ie ultimatum, telling her to make decision now, exposing the A, moving out, etc) Are you thinking that if you move more quickly, she is more likely to end it with OM?
Perhaps less is more right now. Maybe instead of focusing on what she is doing and how you can affect that, you should take a step back and detach. You cannot control her or OMs reactions. -Blu
This is something my coach recommended as well. Don't do a whole bunch of stuff all at once because it will confuse her and make her think that you're pulling some kind of trick, or power play, and only make WW revolt against it. It could damage, or at least, prolong, the recovery time you've been putting all the time into...
Coach recommend... "Baby Steps"... never 10 things at once, always stay minimal, and stay cool.
