14 days of sheer hell, still in fog 5

[DDJ]

So I believe that my WW will not be coming home at all. How does it escalate so fast... My head is spinning, I'm at a driving range so will make sure that I feel it now, so that I can sleep later.

I know that this is my life. I guess time is not something that one can ask for.

God, keep me...

[DDJ]

I love you so very much but I can't see pass the hurt of mothers day, speaking to shakes now and I just want to get you back. Make you feel what I felt.

This is her unsolicited text. I NEED HELP TO REPLY.

[DDJ]

Do I tell her to call psychologist helpline? Tell her to make her own choices? I don't know.

[Cadet]

I love you so very much but I can't see pass the hurt of mothers day, speaking to shakes now and I just want to get you back. Make you feel what I felt.

This is her unsolicited text. I NEED HELP TO REPLY.

OK let me try to understand.
She wrote to you the bolded above?

[DDJ]

That's right. It probably has to do with her going out tonight, and not giving off on her bday wknd yet.

[Cadet]

I just re-read this thread.

Why do you continue to have relationship discussions with her and believe what she is saying?

Trust half of her actions and NONE of what she says.
You have been told that.
Do you not believe what we are writing to you?

I would suggest not responding at all about anything relationship wise.

Go back and re-read this thread - you have issued some boundaries,
if you really need to talk relationship talk - then re-state the boundaries and the consequences.

Then STOP!

[DDJ]

I've not had any real R conversations with her over the past few days.i was bad earlier in the week tho but have calmed down. I definitely do not believe what she is saying.

I will restate that I cannot control her. I can only protect myself. I will not have an open relationship. Can i say if she cheats that I will D her?

Actually, I think that I should not respond. If she talks when I get home, then I'll validate and verbally state these boundaries...

But I will avoid all R talk, started Thursday. Focusing on myself.

[DDJ]

Okay, so going to send this...

I understand that you are hurting. I am hurting too.

That is all that I'm going to send.

[Cadet]

Okay, so going to send this...

I understand that you are hurting. I am hurting too.

That is all that I'm going to send.

Good

[Rose888]

I get the spinning and uncertainty about which course of action is correct. I really do.

But the speed with which you are spinning is unreal. You went from not responding to responding in 19 minutes.

Slow down! You can't possibly be making good choices at this speed.