Your WW is using the guilt card. She is twisting things around to make you feel like you are the one who has really messed up now. It is very common for a WW to say something like, "Well, I was willing to put everything behind us, but now, you have gone and done this"! It is B.S.
Yes, she is experiencing confusion. It is so important that you hold firm now. It is a critical time, and your emotions will tell you to work out some type of compromise with her...........but if you do, you will lose all ground.
You have to be prepared to back up your words. You may have to physically separate from her, before she believes you will really not put up with her disrespect for you and the M. Do not fear it.
I think she will put some pressure on the OM, to see what he says. She may discover that he felt safe to play around as long as she was in a M, however, if she tells him her H is going to divorce her........reality may start hitting this OM and he'll realize she wants more from him. Then see how fast he starts to backpedal.
You have to have a determined and confident presence in front of her. She can make you sound ..........however, but you know the truth. It isn't really the firefighting, it is the affair that has her on the fence. She got herself into this mess, and now she has to put her big girl panties on and clean it up.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
