But, did have a very direct R talk with my WAW/WW and told her I'm emotionally, physically and mentally ready for her to go. I also told her I'm also ready to build a real marriage to her.
But the limbo has to end. If she is going then go, if she is staying she has to make a commitment to me and put our marriage 1st. But, the cake eating time is over.
I told her we won't be friends, once she leaves. It will still be her house (re:ownership) but not her home. She won't come and go as she pleases and be a mom when she wants to. I will be the leader of this family.
I told her that if she wants to be on her own and chase her dreams then go.
She gave me the song and dance, that she does not want to be alone and she worries that if she comes back, I will take over her life and she does not want to say goodbye to her family, but she does not have any feelings for me ... I listened and tried to validate as much as I could.
So, I feel like I got lots of my chest and I've kinda set a clock for her.
So it was a high point for me to lay it out and see what happens.
What was your real expectation of having this R talk? Be honest.
When the LBH has a R talk with his WW, he usually has an immediate sense of relief (getting things off his chest).
But here's the thing. He will be tested to see if he's really going to stick to what he said. If he tucks his tail and backtracks............his R talk was all in vain.
What does she SEE when she looks at you as a MAN? These talks may feel good at the time, but they do not accomplish anything. She will still watch your ACTIONS.
SEE..............MAN............ACTIONS!
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
