Hey P, I never know what to say on your thread but want you to know I'm reading and rooting you on.
Yeah, peace is the consolation prize of the loss. Not worth the price, but since you don't get a choice might as well take what it brings. Glad you're finding things to be appreciative about.
You're handling things well. I get the backslides during contact. XW just emailed me yesterday and there were several things that were painful. She asked for something and used the phrase "I'd prefer not to get the courts involved" twice during the same topic (I never suggested I'd be uncooperative). She referenced again how we're not a fit for each other (I haven't hinted at pursuit for 18 months+). And she mentioned she was disappointed I accused her of making up our S's behavioral problems as a ploy to gain custody (in our social services meeting I only mentioned that S didn't do it at my place...not that I didn't believe her, or it was her fault...but I thought that was pertinent information in regards to understanding the dynamic...and she interpreted that in the worst possible light). While it's her journey, it is still hard, seeing what things have come to, and it can be a downer.
But my motto is "I only have to deal with it a few minutes a month, she has to live like that". Helps me stay compassionate as best I can. Which has room for improvement.
Glad you're doing well on that end. Not much I can add, you're already in a good spot. Reminds me of my health class, on my final there was an essay question "What can you do for someone who is terminally ill?" and being the spirited lad I was I wrote "try to shift them from acceptance back to anger..." Yeah, I didn't like school. Anyway, you seem to be standing pretty strong and tall, not much to offer. I know it's not easy, but it's cool what you do from where you are.
Keep making great things happen.
Me:38 XW:38 T:11 years M:8 years Kids: S14, D11, D7 BD/Move out day: 6/17/14, D final Dec 15
