Looking for Support

[PsySara]

I was in a very similar situation as you, still am but there seems to be a silver lining. My H had an affair with a co-worker (21 yo nurse where he works in another state every other week) and even proposed she be a "second" wife. All while I was back home taking care of our two young children, pregnant with #3 and working 40+ hours a week as a resident physician. I pleaded, screamed, punched walls, sobbed and everything else you aren't supposed to do. I threatened divorce and saw a lawyer twice. I called him every vile name in the book and probably invented some new ones. I found the address to OW's parents and sent them a letter explaining the situation. They were shocked and confronted their daughter, she quit her job and moved back home with them.

My marriage was ashes at that point. I started researching DBing a month ago, hired a coach and started posting here. I did the 180 even when I wanted to vomit from the pain. And you know what? It looks like it's working. My H went from aloof, cold, cruel and nasty to a guy that is calling me twice a day and starting to pursue me. It's not fireworks yet but the responses are starting to come. YOU can recover from this, I promise. And in the end your marriage may be salvageable, the right way, with your dignity intact. If not then you still leave the marriage gracefully and with dignity.