Why don't you come to your senses?

[2Times2Many]

Thank you so much, Esame, for stopping by. I read your latest posts and I have some thoughts I want to post to you, but it may be tomorrow. Hope you don't mind. I will say this for now ... don't expect any kind of romance or affection. There were so many times that I yearned for H to give me just a simple, yet genuine, hug and was left yearning. It's goes with the territory and it's best not to expect it.

I saw my IC yesterday and we talked a lot about H's behavior while he was here and the things he said. She thinks he is a lot of pain and I agree. She also said the issues with seeking my opinion about things like what color shirt or pants to buy or decorating a place I've never seen is classic depression ... the inability to make a decision. If you throw in the "waking up" to poor decisions in the last couple of years, it just makes it worse. Talking to her about all that just made my heart ache for him.

Another thing we talked a lot about was BIL and triangulation. I didn't know much about triangulation, so started doing some research and it seems to apply here. It's a tactic that people with narcissistic tendencies use a lot. I don't think my BIL is a narcissist in the sociopath way of things, but maybe the tendency is there? It sure seems like he's trying to pit H and I against each other to his "ego" benefit.

But beyond that, I started thinking about H and the OW. I think I've seen it mentioned here and there on the forum that people in MLC have narcissistic tendencies. I know my H does or, at least did for some time. And getting involved with OW would be placing the two of us (OW and I) "against" each other, fighting for the "prize," which would be him. If I refuse to fight, then the triangle is broken. The whole sitch doesn't give him the high he's seeking. I fell for that a couple of years ago and got all bent out of shape, but this time it was "Oh, okay." I think that might break the triangle?? Refusing to play the "game?" Lots to think about.

MIL fell again about a week ago. She is paralyzed on one side (from a stoke) so when she goes down, she can't protect herself and falls hard. She broke 6 ribs and has developed pneumonia. She was admitted to the hospital yesterday. My heart goes out to her. She is an awesome woman and life has been tough for her the past 20 years. FIL strained his back trying to get her into her wheelchair yesterday to get her to then doctor for xrays, so he's not doing great either.

The thing that is most heartbreaking is that we moved where we are now to be here for H's parents and H is nowhere around when they really need him. So sad.

I hope everyone has great weekend plans. I was hoping to finish up my gardens this weekend, but I may be spending time at the hospital with MIL. I really need to finish that planting before the nurseries sell out of annuals. But I'll go with the flow and where I feel I'm needed. There are more important things in life than petunias.

My best to everyone.

2T