OK, I will definitely not be joining her for her bday eve party. Will wish her when I see her in person.
As for the lunch, is there a way to get out of it. I can say that restaurant called saying there's gonna be a function. I could say that I'm out of ideas and then just let her do what she wants, but would it get me closer to my goal?
Just cos things are going right, doesn't mean that they were always wrong.
wait, my goal is to focus on me. Not her. So then I need to do that,on her bday. We're suppose to meet up with pro-marriage friends later in the afternoon. Can arrange something earlier...
Just cos things are going right, doesn't mean that they were always wrong.
I agree with dream on the projection thing. My doctor (M.D.) introduced me to projection (it was after the prostate exam, not during).
I told my doctor that after I'd gotten a new ATM card my wife transferred a bunch of money from our joint account to a newly created personal account. I asked her why she did that and she said that she was afraid I'd use my ATM card to empty our joint account. Huh? If I wanted to empty the account, I'd do it electronically. Using the ATM card would be ridiculous.
My doctor said, "She's projecting; that's what she's thinking about doing." Oh! It's all part of the affair-fog cocktail.
Doodler, any advice on cancelling plan bday plans would be appreciated. I'm thinking of telling her at 11-30 and we're supposed to go at 1pm. Not sure if it's going to help me to focus on me... I'm confused, thx dream.
2x4 at the wrong time. Like there is ever a right time.
Just cos things are going right, doesn't mean that they were always wrong.
Wait again. My mind is spinning cos I'm wondering what she's going to think and do. That's not my problem. OK. Now relaxed again. Off to a nightclub where I'm not even going to have one drink. Not done that since 2001! Never gonna alone either...
Just cos things are going right, doesn't mean that they were always wrong.
Just got off the phone with my mother who is such a rock and still does not get what I'm doing. I know that I cannot pander to my WW. I must stay strong. There are always going to be times when I stand and I will fall. I stood for mothers day. I fell for her bday. But now I dust myself off and I stand again.
As long as I don't stay down I am going to win this war.
Just cos things are going right, doesn't mean that they were always wrong.
Just thinking about the pandering... If I do not pander to her needs then she is going to look for it elsewhere. Her current Plan A can either pander to her needs or push away. If he pushes away, I have a chance to become plan A. But I can only stay Plan A if I am the best person that I could ever be. She cannot have doubt about her decision. If I decide to take her back.
Just cos things are going right, doesn't mean that they were always wrong.
So I plan on saying this at the last minute..."i have decided that Id rather spend the day by myself or with our S. You can do what you want, you can take him with or leave him with me but I do not feel like going anywhere."
I must buy something small so that our S can give it to her for her bday, from him.
Also realised that the balance of power financially is hers. I need to wrestle it back. I asked for a wire transfer 3 hours ago and am yet to get a reply to call, text or email. I earn double what she does but will correct it by the end of the month. She's definitely upset that I did not want to give off, and of the prospect that she's not going to get any (from me) for her bday wknd.
But that's life hey.
Just cos things are going right, doesn't mean that they were always wrong.
So WW has decided to not include me in her bday eve plans. I'm a bit anxious but going out now for the next 6 hours to GAL. Should be real tired, will be home at 1am so will hopefully falls asleep. Not going to wish her, until i see her.
Had a good visit to a WAW friend this morning, explaining my problems and correlating them with hers. She still lives with her XH, he was addicted to drugs and she has never healed - 5 years later. I guess everyone is either wayward or left behind. I know which one is worse.
Tomorrow is the start of the rest of my life. If i can get through it as I did mothers day then I can see my path more clearly. And I can prepare for the holiday.
Just cos things are going right, doesn't mean that they were always wrong.
