New Couple, Same Old Story 2

[Ralph88]

I've stopped praying for my M, instead I pray for myself and my kids as well as my WW. I pray that my WW finds her happiness in a way that pleases God, herself, and her children. I don't know what that means, but pray for that.

[DDJ]

That's the same prayers that I'm saying. All that we can do is hand them over to God. They will need to pray to Him themselves.

[Ralph88]

I'm such a dork. I saw an attractive woman today, and was giving her much more than the one glance that I feel is morally correct. I've seen her many times before, and I think she's actually available and she always smiles at me.. Then I felt guilty about it afterwords... Uggghhh

[SH_]

Amen to your prayer. I do the same as I know that God gives us free will, and while I believe God desires the family unit to be whole the WAS has the free choice to do what they want.

Good prayer and I want to continue to pray the same and do so regularly so that I feel it in my heart.

And don't feel like such a dork, just recognize that now is not the time to start looking to another woman as you need time to heal and be the man only a fool would leave. But your looking is not dorky it is natural. Just keep yourself in check.
IMHO

[Ralph88]

Thank you for the responses. I have no desire to be with anyone else, but feel dorky sometimes feeling guilty for 'disrespecting' my WW. Lol... Believe me, I will not fall to sin in that capacity, I am a strong man.

[SH_]

Then we'll say that your feelings of dorkiness is because you are a committed husband in spite of the ww.

This is a badge that you should wear with pride IMO.
You are a good dude my brother.

[PsySara]

Hey, I get it. I've been doing a lot of physical improvement to increase my devastated self esteem and in my weaker moments think, "He is a 5 and I am an 8, I should dump him for an 8." Then I feel ashamed because I am not vain but this is more like my inner kid pitching a temper.

[Ralph88]

I hear you. I just feel silly, even though I know there is a .001% chance she'll ever even have remorse or sorrow for what she's done let alone make any changes or recommit to the M, when I glance at someone else. Oh well, yes I wear the badge proudly, until the ink is dry on the D, by then I'll be more than ready to make tracks and get some snuggle time with someone. Maybe I'll start a snuggle service, and sell myself out. I'm probably a 6.5, lost 30 lbs, fairy muscular.. I could be like deuce bigalow with a snuggle business.

[BluWave]

Hi Ralph,

Just a drive by hello. I am glad you are moving forward, keeping your faith, and enjoying time with your Ds. You seem very level headed about your sitch. Not sure I ever reached that point when my H was in the fog.

3 As? Wow. Can't even imagine. Thinking that she certainly is in the "serial cheaters" bracket by now. I have a feeling you will get through this and come out on top.

-Blu

[Ralph88]

Thanks for the support. It's a struggle, I won't lie to any of you. I'm doing my best, especially for the Ds. They didn't ask to be brought into this world let alone be in this messy marriage. My focus is to provide and umbrella of protection over them and do the best to shield them from this mess as well as everything that is negative in this world to the best of my ability! That is my job and responsibility, and I'm doing it 120%.

Of course I'm still learning about me, GALing, getting out and meeting new people everywhere I go. I enjoy listening to people's stories about life and experiences, not good and bad. There are some really great people out there.

I care less and less about the WW/STBXW what she does and whom with. I don't even judge how she is living, as it's not with me. Communication is slightly better about the kids, especially as that is the priority and I would never want anything other than relationships for her and I with the Ds.

I'm more accepting of the most possible outcome from here on out, and the future is bright for a change, brighter than its been in 15 years actually.