Cadet, thank you for clarifying. yeah, he is wayward. I hope he does find his way.
This has zero to do about him. It's hard to explain. I actually wish him the best. And Id on't care if his ego is boosted by my out reach, because it's not the purpose. It's about a weight on my mind that has been affecting me. So either, the weight goes lessens with this, or it stays and I find another way to rid myself of it.
I'm not getting in the mess. I have realized life carries on and I would like to be at peace with myself and the people who have come into my life and have made an impact, it is just what works for me. it's just how I operate. I don't like to carry things in my heart and my head that are heavy, and where I drop my stuff off is different than others I guess. I appreciate all the opinions.
He did call last night, but I wasn't available. We had a small text exchange and it was friendly, unrelated to the topic, and I realize the feelings I thought might be attached to it aren't there. And it was a big relief for me to know that. The wondering what kind of feelings would be attached weighed me down to.
Anyways the focus is on ME. And I am taking good attention at making sure I realize my worth. I admittedly lost a bit of it, and I found it again.
My poor D8 was talking ot me last night about how mean her dad is, how he yells at everyone like her, W, and grandma and he seems like a monster and thinks something is wrong with him. She said she has no idea how dad came out of grandma, because grandma is so nice and sweet. I validated her and told her she is a good loving girl with a good loving heart, and it doesn't make it right, but sometimes dad doesn't know how to handle things when they don't work the way he wants. I assured her that her dad loves her, his wife, and his mom, but he has a hard time with his own emotions.
Sad. I never want my daughter to lose her self worth because the most important man in her life is such a monster.
