Thanks! I understand that you weren't saying that I never listen.
Yes, I found my style has been changing the longer I've been on the forum. I tend to ask more questions now. I'm not good at it yet, but I'm getting better and it's a great skill to use with the WW.
So today is closing day for my W condo. I apparently need to sign some papers. I ask her this morning for the address and when I plan on going there, and she says, "oh, you don't have to go now".
She offered no explanation why, and I didn't ask. But I did make sure that I will have zero responsibility for the condo (the original reason I had to sign)
Makes me wonder if she was just testing me all along, expecting to flip out or something when I had to take time out of my day to sign off on the condo. Maybe I'm looking to deep into it.
So I need some kind of reassurance here...W closed on the condo yesterday. We didn't speak at all yesterday. I went to bed assuming she wasn't coming home. But, she was here when I woke up.
What's really freaking me out is the permanence of what she's doing. She's not just renting an apartment here. She took out a mortage on a condo that needs a lot of work. She's replacing the carpet, refridgerator, microwave, stove, furnace needs work. Kitchen is being overhauled. I try to not think about it, but the thoughts still creep into my head about how permanent of a decision she is making.
Being on her own, without your assistance and availability, may be just what she needs in order to get back to wanting to work on the MR.
All this stuff she is doing may appear as her nailing the door shut. It's a woman's prerogative to change her mind. For a while, she may enjoy living the single life, but in time................
My question is, what will you be doing during this time?
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Being on her own, without your assistance and availability, may be just what she needs in order to get back to wanting to work on the MR.
All this stuff she is doing may appear as her nailing the door shut. It's a woman's prerogative to change her mind. For a while, she may enjoy living the single life, but in time................
My question is, what will you be doing during this time?
I've actually already started (and will continue) doing a TON of things. I'm a musician, so I have really been into creating music. Just recently, starting to pursue a dream of learning to ride a motorcycle. Last weekend, I learned to fish, and enjoy it. I live right next to a big lake, so plenty of fun there. I've also gotten back into a workout regime, which I fell off of. Also, been doing a lot around the house, just repainted the garage, weather is breaking, so a lot of outside work to come. In short, I've been keeping myself really busy.
The part that scares me also, is that we both had become emotionally distant over the last couple years, so I don't want to seem like I don't care and being 'more of the same'. I really do care, and I'm ready to emotionally invest in my MR. I do need her to be as well if we are going to work. I'm just afraid that I'll go dark, and she won't initiate any contact herself, and what should have been an excellent, strong, beautiful, lasting relationship disappears into thin air because neither of us communicated correctly.
for all intents and purposes, I'm handling everything pretty well and I believe I am taking the right steps. But some of it is not natural. To step back and away from someone you love so dearly is not natural. So I sometimes second guess myself.
