Well to be honest, I can easily D her, I can lock the room door, throw her out as i suggested. But then i'm not learning anything.
It is definitely not okay for to disrespect our M and go out all night. I am not accepting it. But there is something in my character, something sooo deep that I need to change.
Whether she is around or not, I need to change that. I surmise that it's easier to change if she is around. I cannot know where exactly this journey will take me, but what i do know is that hurt and pain is temporary. When those feelings pass, I will be able to be born anew. If i choose to want my WW then, so be it. If not, then so be it too.
Plus I stood up to my M the day before, but who wants someone to stay at home that does not want to be with you. A small part of me wished that she actually started seeing OM2 full time, it will make the pain more real, but possibly more painful.
So i'm back to the drawing board. Giving her space and taking my own. Tomorrow night is going to be hardest, but I no longer have a W. The sanctity of M is broken. Why cry over spilt milk.
Just cos things are going right, doesn't mean that they were always wrong.
