Building my life...

[mahhhty]

I feel like I constantly repeat myself on here. Saying something like things are really getting busy with the startup, and they always feel like they are. The startup is a semi-finalist for an entrepreneurial challenge (which awards cash prizes) and I'm making a lot of headway.

However, the X always has a way to try to tear it down. On April 19th I received this...

Hi, We need to finish the discussion on kindergarten. I'm in the process of buying a house in TownX, and will close next month. I've done the research, as should you, and TownX is one of the top school districts in the state. And because of taxes, has great extracurricular activities and sports programs.

It is a mile off the highway, and has a full day kindergarten. Kindergarten assessments are transferable amongst the school districts, so that doesn't matter. If for some reason we wanted them to do one, then they have more scheduled for May and June.

I think providing the kids with the best education and opportunities is what is best for them. Also, the fact that they have a full day program is much more convenient for us. Please do your research and let me know where you stand.

Thanks

When I received this I was infuriated and upset and anxiety ridden with everything that is going on. I never responded (and unfortunately I still haven't). In my anger I made an appointment to talk to my old IC, who I haven't spoken to in over a year. It was good to get some of that out there. TownX is about 20 minutes away, it is an upper middle class neighborhood that her sister lives in. I am positive that she is buying this house with the other guy.

Her being the parent closest to the school, I have difficulty that the lack of structure or stability in her life isn't a great combination with the reliability of taking care of school issues, picking the kids up, dropping them off, etc. Let's face it we are 50/50 but she has yet to hold up her 50, which I don't mind... I love seeing the kids.

Also, she has not once yet approached me about the OM. Therefore, I have no trust for her. And am deeply angered that she is buying a house (or received a kidney for that matter) from the person responsible for the demise of our marriage.

I believe these are the questions I need her to answer:
- address of the house?
- is she buying it on her own?
- is she getting a new job?
- will he be living there?

It took me awhile to get to that point but I'm there. Any thoughts?

I also feel that I need to confront her, explain the past episodes I've had with the kids (my S & D talking about us all being together on multiple different occasions). Talk about how we need to discuss the OM and his role in her life as the kids repeatedly discuss it.

Sidenote... with the IC we had this talk about my family fantasy and similarly I stated something to the affect, "I'm honestly not sure if I miss my family, I am lonely or I truly love her and miss her." He responded that I'm the kind of person who needs to figure that out to ensure I know before moving forward. So what did I do. The exact thing any engineer does I researched and researched... I came to the conclusion that I love and miss the person I knew as deeply as any can. But she isn't that person anymore. It was there all along but I am only beginning to see.