Ups and Downs (III)

[Zues126]

My husband just texted me and apologized. He agreed, so it's not just me. But you know something? He didn't walk out with me.

Don't mind read J. He might have just had a question or two he wanted to ask while he had an opportunity. We don't know his opinion of this clown. And it's not fair to expect him to support you in a dramatic walk off when you made the choice unilaterally, even if it was appropriate.

Anyway, I'm here and reading. Hang in there. You only have to deal with this crap once.

I was nearly overwhelmed today. Between the emotions that started the day, the anxiety I have about tomorrow (huge presentation careerwise), and the tremendous amounts of things I need to manage with a move in 3 weeks and a shift to 50% custody at the same time...I talked to my mom, she reminded me that I won 50% custody.

Point is for me nothing, nothing, nothing ever will equate to the low I felt after BD emotionally. And nothing will ever be as stressful as an interview to see if I could be a father for my children. Life is still brutally hard, but compared to that it's candyland.

So to you, I will just say this. You have your children, you don't have any doubt they will be in your life. You will find a way to put food on their table. The emotional pain, the distasteful system, this you can endure for your children, and before you know it it will all be in the rear view mirror and you will still be there. And I will be there celebrating when you are surprised with the joy that can appear when you least expect it after you fight the good fight long enough. It may never be the same, but that doesn't mean you won't find reason to smile once in a while. Maybe Zues can help with a joke. Let me see...

So the bar tender says "we don't serve TIME TRAVELERS HERE!"

...a time traveler walks into a bar.