If I got into a lot of details about my situation this could be really long so I will keep it as short as possible. In September we will have been married 9 years and we have been together for 12. We have 2 children we brought into the marriage and one together. Our major problems started after our son was born. I was laid off and we went through our savings. There has been a lot of financial stress on me since then. At the same time she has been trying to start a business that she wants to do full time but just can't get off the ground. It has taken up a lot of money and I pay the bulk of the expenses and am always stressing about how to make ends meet.
She had a full affair. It was a few months and he moved away. We decided to work on it and stay together but since then she has had other what I would consider emotional affairs and one that did have some physical kissing and touching. With that one she said she loved him and was ready to leave me for him. But he was just a player and we decided to work through it and stay together.
Her main complaints about me are that I don't talk to her, spend time with her, or protect her. I don't make her feel loved. She has had disputes with people and she doesn't think I have had her back. When her father passed away she was in the middle of an emotional affair that was clouding my judgement and she does not feel I was there for her. She says that I change for a while but then go back to my old ways. She is right I have gotten complacent and let life and anger get in the way.
Two weeks we were having a big money issue because we had to pay a bunch of tickets that she rang up when renewing our registration. She also had spent a bunch of money out of the account I didn't know about. I needed to figure out how to pay rent and I was mad at her and stressing out. I did push her away. After a few days she said she wanted a separation and divorce. She said that she was done with our marriage and it was over. She said she has been unhappy for years and couldn't take it anymore. She said she accepts that fact that she was not good enough for me to do what I need to do. I showed her that she was not worth it.
I then heard her talking on the phone to another man. Apparently they have been talking for the year but got serious recently. I checked the phone records and they text hundreds of times a day and talk for hours. He lives across the country but they met through business. She is talking about how he is her priority and acts completely different with him then me. She talks to him about being with him and moving on with him.
We are in a lease so we have to stay in our house until October. She said after that she will be moving across the country. She wants us to work out something with our son and be cordial and respectful of each other. It has been extremely hard. There has been a lot of crying. I am an emotional wreck. I feel like I am constantly being punched in the chest and out of breath. I love her with all my heart and the times when I thought maybe would be better without her don't seem real anymore. It is destroying me what this will do to our family. Neither one of us is willing to give up our son but she is moving away to a place that he is not familiar with and where she has no support system. I can't see it being anything else but a battle.
I haven't said anything to her about eavesdropping and hearing that she is in a relationship with someone else. I wanted to do it tomorrow to let her know. I also wanted to text him and let him know that if I ever see him it will be a problem and I will never let him around my son. I want to tell her that my son will stay with me and I will send him to her on the school breaks with a No Contact order in place for the other man.
Most of all I want my family and I want my wife back.
My son's birthday is coming up and she wants us to go to an amusement park. I am trying to see if I can scrape together the money since this is before payday and if I can't we may not be able to go.
Also if I tell her I know she is actually in a new relationship I don't know what will happen.
