To ignore or not to ignore?

[srt]

Hi, I too feel your pain and have been separated for nearly 8 months now.

I think the point of DB'ing is to repair yourself, that may or may not result in reconciliation, but it WILL ensure you are fit to take on what life is going to throw at you no matter what the future holds.

Like you, I too desire some certainty. The trouble is we cannot be the ones to dictate a timeline on this. Your spouse is uncertain, otherwise you would know what is happening. To force it would give you a bad result.

All we can do, for the small comfort it brings, is live our lives for ourself and children, and try and get to the state where our spouse cannot control us or our emotions. This can take months or even years (feels like it for me!).
Sandi's "rules" all have a sound basis, all you can do is follow these, remain cheery and "as-if" when in their company, and make sure you are assertive and not a door-mat. Be very aware of cake-eating and decline it - it will not ease your pain.

Sending you a virtual hug