Hi Rose888, Well, we live in a tiny town and I would not feel comfortable meeting in public. He hasn't said he won't meet, he just hasn't answered my question! I am going to ask him again in email today re: Saturday. Working now through my notes from three sessions w my DB coach to get my head together. Thank you for keeping up with this - I really have so little information to go on since I haven't seen him in almost 5 weeks. Today I am asking myself - if I do decide to do this living on the property together thing - one of us in house, one in guest house, how will that benefit ME? My first gut instinct is that, right now, he has only what's in his HEAD, and his narrative about how I am the problem in his life etc. to go on, but perhaps if we saw each other more then I would have the opportunity to SHOW him how I am changing and therefore, maybe, he will eventually soften. The more I think about it and the past 8 months or so, the more it seems like he's in the MLC stage. One point my DB coach made is that I am now in the position to start respecting myself more and that I then have the chance to retrain him how I want to be treated. Have you read the book - How to Improve Your Marriage without Talking About It'? That book has some very useful stuff on the low sex drive/high sex drive dynamic. I know for years I was the one with higher sex drive while my husband has lower sex drive plus suffered from depression for years - so that was an issue until thankfully, my sex drive decreased a bit and I became more accepting when he felt depressed. That was one thing I felt really angry about last week - all those weeks, YEARS I stood by him weekend after weekend when he was really depressed, and so you should stand by me!!!! got over it. What are you doing to GAL? thanks for being here!
