What should I be doing? (2)

[sandi2]

Sandy, I agree with most of what you said, I still don't feel like she gets the seriousness of the A

Something tells me that if things were switched around and it had been you having an EA with a co-worker..........she would have no problem in getting the seriousness of it.

Oh, she knows, alright. She is going to play along until she thinks you are satisfied that it's over. Well, you are practically there, now.

Has it been two full days, yet? Btw, her calling to let you know she has arrived or about to leave some place, is not transparency. The betrayed H should be the one to determine what will be required in order for her to regain his trust. The WW doesn't get to decide when, where, or if she will reveal anything. Just b/c she called you, or she came home on time........does not mean her and OM were not having contact. Basically, all you had was her word. There needs to be something to verify it. Otherwise, your W is not effectively working to end the A, and more likely...covering.

Anyway, I can tell that you want to buy into the deceit, so go ahead and GAL, and build up your confidence. You are going to need it. When you decide you want to know the truth, give it about three weeks, and then casually pick up her phone and check it out. (Now, don't cheat and tell her that she better be careful or you may be looking. Don't even give her the thought of you checking her phone).

They are being careful right now. She has made certain everything has been cleared off her phone......before conveniently laying it out for you to see. (Hey, it takes one to know one).

As soon as she sees you are satisfied and believe everything has ended between them, she'll get careless about deleting messages.

But just for the sake of giving her every benefit imaginable, let's say she really means to keep things with OM on a professional level. It's not that simple. She is addicted to the high the affair gives her. She would not be the first to think they could continue working with their AP (or some type of contact) and think those feelings will just go away. And you would not be the first man to want desperately to believe we are wrong and just know your W the way you do. And I don't know your W, personally. But, sadly, I know how the WW operates.