Now or .....?

[EDF]

Certainly can't hurt to do the unexpected once in a while - sometimes you just have to go for it. Like anything else in DB, I imagine it's a case of experimenting and monitoring the results and backing off if you hit resistance.

One thing that has worked for me is not asking my W to do things with me, but simply telling her what I am doing. Like last weekend:

W: "What are you up to this weekend?"
ME: "Well, Saturday morning I'm scheduled to volunteer at XYZ for a couple hours, then I plan to pick up some meat and grill out for lunch, and then at night I'm going to the Roller Derby matches."
W: "Oh. ... Ok."

I didn't invite her. She never asked if she could go, and never explicitly said whether she wanted to do any of those things, but later she asked me if I could pick up a Filet Mignon for her; and an hour before Roller Derby there she was getting ready. I literally didn't know until that moment whether she actually was going with me or not, but she went and thankfully we ended up having a good time.

If I had come out and framed it as a date or pushed for a commitment, I suspect I would not have gotten as positive an end result.