Hi LiM and All DBers, Kinda having an anxiety moment. Finally got an email from my H this am thanking me for the info I put together on our joint bills etc. In the email he mentioned he had been thinking of getting a little place of his own for a while, but can't afford it due to a big dental bill etc. He then asked 'what do I think of living arrangements?' idea. I do NOT want to discuss this by email. He did not respond to idea at all of my invitation to come over this Saturday to discuss it. Feeling so sad. HELP me have some hope! It will be only 5 weeks this Friday that he left, so I know in my mind it's early in the process. I was watching some videos yesterday by this guy Larry Bilotta who has a theory about 'chaos kids' and how we end up behaving in our marriages the way we saw the same sex parents treat our opposite sex parent. His idea behind the MLC is that since my H wasn't allowed to be selfish or think of his own needs or have them met as a child, that part of the MLC is that being activated again, hence the selfish behavior now with no thought of ramifications on others, ie, ME. Every time there is another reminder of his choice to be separate, new bank acct etc. I just feel the fear and anxiety return. It's easy to live with hope and a vision of reconciliation in my mind, but hard to keep the faith when everything he does points to wanting to NOT be with me. At no point has there yet been any discussion about why he was so adamant about leaving, besides the note he left me. Today I have to ask him if he plans to help me at all financially as there are bills that need to be paid etc. and I don't have the money to pay them. Jesus. This sort of [censored] today. Thanks for any help or words of wisdom. Trying not to take what he is doing too personally but very difficult at times. THANKS
